Last night, I witnessed a mother crying over her son’s demise on her birthday. Today while bidding goodbye, we requested for her to continue her du’a, to forgive his sins, and to be “redha” on his demise.

My grandma…we were worried about her as she was hospitalised a week plus before her birthday. Alhamdulillah she was discharged earlier, so we had an early 86th birthday celebration on 28 Oct at her place.

I looked at grandma for the longest time and wondered if this would be her last celebration or will we blessed to have her till her 90s just like my paternal grandma.

While I was booking a cab, dad called my phone and requested to pass the phone to my uncle. I told him to call mum’s phone instead as I was in the midst of cab booking. He wanted to ask my uncle to join him at his workplace Cairnhill Condominium, moreover uncle has retired. He agreed.

Monday, 30 Oct

He came by my place by bus at 4+pm and then took the bike with dad to the condo. He also shared with mum he’s been having chest pain ever since he changed to another brand of cigarettes.

It was raining when I came back from work. Mum worried that both dad and uncle are stuck in the rain. They eventually came home at 8+ if I recall correctly. He went up to our place. Dad asked him to come in and have a hot drink but he insisted on going home. I heard his voice from where I was seated, having dinner.
Mum asked dad why he didn’t drop my uncle at the bus stop. He explained that there are things to carry.

Tuesday, 31 Oct

I reached home at 6.30pm. Najul told me that dad just called mum, crying, cos my uncle fainted at the condo and uncle was taking short breaths. Ambulance had sent him to Tan Tock Seng Hospital. I was almost confident it’s just a scare, a minor heart attack.

I pitied dad cos he must have felt miserable and helpless. Uncle told dad that he was a bit giddy. Dad told him to just sit down and rest. Dad called one of the Indonesian helpers in the condo to get a warm drink for my uncle. He did drink at the same time saying he’s in pain. He “dozed” off but dad managed to revive him. When dad noticed something was not right, he immediately reached out to my brothers who called the ambulance on my dad’s behalf.

While waiting for the ambulance, dad called mum. He was shakened. Almost sure it was bad….judging from his breathing. Police arrived too…questioning my dad and others.

Another uncle suggested we pray for him while waiting for updates. Mum and I were ready to dash out anytime. But at 7.15pm, we got that unwelcomed call…cardiac arrest. He left us. Just like that. My brother had to repeat a few times to my mother. Uncontrollable tears.

Because it happened outside with no medical records, the jenazah had to be placed in the mortuary. We had less than 2hrs before they bring it to SGH for a post mortem. Police came. Investigation Officer came to question my father. An unavoidable procedure for this situation.

To see my usually smiley grandma crying in her wheelchair, on her birthday, over her son’s demise was really heartbreaking. To see her kissing her son…touching hus face in tears. It’s painful to see.

Many came to the mortuary. Everyone cried. Everyone misses his jokes, never-ending teasing and the only tall figure among his siblings.

Wednesday, 1 Nov

Alhamdulillah all went well and this morning we were informed no autopsy was required. Everything was as planned. Arrived at his place 11.30am. We prayed zohor and solat jenazah at the beautiful Masjid Yusof Ishak. It rained after the solat but stopped when we were at Pusara Aman.

I can’t recall the last time I cried this much.

I regretted not talking to my uncle that Saturday. I regretted not passing the phone to my uncle so I could see his face. I regretted not noticing he was too quiet on Saturday. I regretted not walking to the door to see his face for the last time on Monday.

I regretted that I initially didn’t ask him to join for the Batam trip. And when I was ok with him joining, we couldn’t get the same time ferry tickets so he didn’t want to join us. For all that I am sorry.
I’m still trying to come to terms with it. He began his new life as a husband at my home…held his wedding here 20+ years ago.

Who would have known that his last meal would be at my home. That was the last conversation he had with his only elder sister, my mum at my home. That my dad was probably the last closest family he saw before his final breath. That you would miss your long awaited vacation to Boyan with the big family in March.

If you could just take a minute, please if you could be kind enough say a prayer for my beloved maternal uncle, Allahyarham Sapiee Bin Nik and also for our family (especially my grandma). May Allah bless his soul and place him amongst His beloved ❤ “Every soul shall have a taste of death…” (Ali Imran:185)

Your (grand)nieces and nephews miss you.



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